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A guy walks into a bar and sits down. - Bartender asks: "What can I get you?" Guy says: "Jack and coke" Bartender nods, goes under the bar, gets up, and puts an apple on the bar. The guy says, "I ordered a Jack and coke, what the hell is this." Bartender says "Just try it." The guy takes a bite and says to the bartender: "Holy shit this tastes just like Jack Daniels!" The bartender says "Turn it around." Guy turns the apple around, takes another bite and says "Holy shit this tastes just like coke!" Another guy comes into the bar, sits near the first guy. Bartender asks: "What can I get you?" Guy says: "Vodka tonic." Bartender nods, goes under the bar, pulls out an apple, and places it on the bar. The guy says "What the hell is this?" Bartender says, "Just try it." The guys does and exclaims "This tastes just like tonic!" The bartender says "Turn it around." The guy does and says "Wow! This tastes like vodka!" A third guy walks into the bar and sits down. The other two guys say: "This bartender has magic apples that taste like whatever you want! Seriously order ANYTHING and he'll give you an apple that tastes like it!" The guy says to the bartender: "Okay then, I want an apple that tastes like pussy." The bartender nods, goes under the bar, takes out an apple, and places an apple on the bar. The guy picks it up, takes a bite and immediately spits it out. The guys says: "This is disgusting! This tastes like ass!!" The bartender says: "Turn it around."
A blonde comes home from school and says - "Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can only count to 10 but I can count to 20. Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mother replies: "Yes dear, it's because you're blonde." The next day the blonde comes home from school and says: "Mummy, mummy, all the other girls in my class can't recite the alphabet, but I can. Is it because I'm blonde?" "Yes dear, it's because you're blonde" The next day she comes home and says: "Mummy, mummy, today we were getting changed for gym class and all the other girls had flat chests but I had these." She points to her breasts. "Is it because I'm blonde? "No dear, it's because you're 25."
When an old woman goes to the grocer. - A elderly woman makes a trip to the greengrocer down the block. A friendly employee sees her browsing the various vegetables and asks, "Excuse me, ma'am, can I help you find something?" The old woman, without hesitation, replies, "Yes, you can! I'd like to buy a pound of broccoli." "Oh ma'am, I'm so sorry to tell you, but we're fresh out of broccoli today. How about some green beans?" Again without hesitation, the woman says, "No, I'd just like to buy a pound of broccoli." His patience is now being tested. "Well, perhaps you didn't understand the first time. We just don't have any broccoli today. How about some asparagus? We've got it fresh right over there!" he says, pointing. "No, I really just want a pound of broccoli." Exasperated, the employee says, "Ma'am, can you spell 'cat,' as in 'catastrophic'?" "Well of course! C-A-T!" "And can you spell 'dog,' as in 'dogmatic'?" A bit confused, the woman says, "Of course...D-O-G." "Now can you spell 'fuck,' as in 'broccoli'?" The woman thinks for a moment. "There's no 'fuck' in 'broccoli'!" "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

What is this tool?

It is great to bring some humour to your day and what better way to do this than with a high-quality random jokes generator?

Simply select the number of jokes that you would like to generate and hit the green button.

This tool uses a 36,000 of the best jokes taken from the Reddit /r/jokes that have an upvote score of 30 or more. So every joke you can find here has been liked by a good number of people.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these jokes, nor do I necessarily endorse the contents of them. Don't blame me if you are offended :) And since they are from user-generated content on Reddit, one can be left in little doubt that there are going to be a lot of jokes that are not politically correct. But that is why you are here right? :)